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How To Deal With Rejection in the Swinger Lifestyle

Updated: Jan 31

Hey, party people! This is Em and Lu the hosts of Lifeinstyle. We love crafting a space where fun, connection, safe sex and exploration are at the forefront of the swinger lifestyle.

But let's get real about a subject that's on everyone's mind but rarely talked about: rejection when asking another couple to "play." And not just rejection in the swinger lifestyle, but also the fear of asking that often comes before it. We want to pull back the curtain on this and let you in on a little secret: it's okay to ask. In fact, it's more than okay.

The Swinging lifestyle: Newbie Jitters and Saying No

It can be intimidating for couples that attend a Lifeinstyle party for the first time. No one wants to think that you are going to have to reject swingers when you just want to have fun! After all, you just want to play tonight, right?

rejection in the swinger lifestyle

It's also essential to be comfortable saying NO. Not all the couples that will approach you at swingers clubs will be ones you would like to have sexual activity. And be aware that at an event, not everyone that approaches you to say hi wants to have sex with you. Swingers are a friendly bunch! We, had to figure this out in our early stages of our swinging journey. People in the lifestyle are just friendly, so don't always assume someone saying hi wants to get in your pants. (Sounds funny, but it's true!)

The Fear of Hurt Feelings and rejection in the swinger lifestyle: How to say no?

We all know that feeling: you're at a party, someone approaches you with an invitation to have sex, and something just doesn't feel quite right or you are not ready to play. But oh, the dread of hurting their feelings, being rude and reject people! That nagging worry can sometimes push you into saying yes when you really mean no, all to avoid potential discomfort or disappointment.

Here's the thing, dear friends, saying yes when you mean no can lead to even more uncomfortable situations. And we, have learned this the hard way. Imagine finding yourself in the middle of an encounter that doesn't feel right, all because you didn't want to hurt someone's feelings. Talk about awkward!

In the swinger lifestyle, being honest isn't just a virtue; it's essential. When someone approaches you, being clear and truthful about your intentions. This honors the other party's feelings and time as well. Don't accidentally mislead anyone.

learn how to say no lifeinstyle parties

Remember, swingers are a friendly bunch, and a polite "no thank you" is generally well-received. We're all here to explore, connect, and have a blast. If something doesn't feel right, trust your instincts, be kind in your refusal, and move on to the endless possibilities that await you.

The Art of Asking in the Lifestyle

Bravery, dear partygoers, is the name of the game. When you're in the swinger clubs, the art of asking is essential, and you know what? It's not as complicated as it may seem. From "Do you want to play?" to "Want to do something sexy?" or even a cheeky "Follow us to our hotel room?" – these questions are part of the fabric of the scene. Most of us are here for the same thing, after all, communicate well.

But let's not forget that the lifestyle is a rich tapestry of preferences, desires, and boundaries. Different levels of play, different dos and don'ts, and different comfort zones are all part of the mix.

As hosts of Lifeinstyle parties, we see it all. Seasoned swingers mingling with newbies, or "newbs," as we lovingly call those just dipping their toes in these tantalizing waters. And here's our heartfelt advice: Be kind and considerate. Respect each other's boundaries and be patient with those who are exploring and learning the ropes.

Whether you're a veteran lifestyler or a curious newcomer, the process of asking for play can be exciting, and even a little bit thrilling. Remember, the question is easy – so breathe deep, muster up your courage, and go for it. When you are ready to play, embrace the adventure, the connection, and the infinite possibilities that come with being open, honest, and, most of all, yourself.

We've found that this approach not only makes asking for play a more enjoyable experience but also fosters a community where everyone feels welcome and valued. And that, is what the Lifeinstyle parties and the swinger lifestyle are all about.

Don't let Swinger Rejection put you down!

Rejection isn't just for newbies; it's universal. Learn from it and move on. We've heard "no," and we're still here, loving every minute of it. We're no strangers to rejection, and let's face it, we're not everyone's cup of tea – and that's fine! Every couple has its likes and preferences. But hey, think about this: in traditional dating, you're only juggling two minds. In the swinger lifestyle, you need a sexy four way connection trying to coincide and be on the same page. It's like trying to coordinate a flash mob with no rehearsal! So keep your sense of humor, embrace the complexity.

dont let it put you down lifeinstyle

The Swinger Lifestyle is a Dance, So Let's Dance!

The swinger lifestyle is about connection, exploration, and enjoyment. And let's be clear: rejection is a fundamental part of the dance. It's not just about knowing how to waltz with someone else; it's about learning how to say "no" when the dance doesn't feel right.

Feeling a little embarrassed or afraid about saying no? Put those feelings in the corner, baby! In the Lifeinstyle groove, saying "no" is as fabulous as a glittering disco ball. Just like those shiny sparkles, every "no" can lead to another YES, lighting up the room with possibilities.

Communicate with your partner, be on the same rhythmic channel, and when someone tells you "no," embrace it like a pro. There are plenty more couples swinging to the beat, and there's someone for everyone in the Lifeinstyle journey.

But wait, there's more! The Lifestyle isn't just about sexy encounters; it's a dance floor filled with friendship, laughter, and heaps of fun. So put on your dancing shoes and join us in the jive. If saying "no" has ever twisted your tango or a rejection has ruffled your rumba, share your stories in the comments. We're here to keep the beat going. We want to hear from you! Reach out if you need support!

See you on the dance floor, fabulous friends, and remember: In the Lifeinstyle party, "no" is just a step in the dance of connection. Let's keep swinging!


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4 comentarios


Thank you for this! As noobies ourselves, we have been talking about this subject quite a bit. How to ask. How to say no. How to handle being told no. All of this. Fantastic read! Thanks again!

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Contestando a

We plan on attending the foam party later this month as our first event. Nerves are definitely present, but like we said, the blog helped a lot and had great information! So that definitely helped put our minds at ease a little! Excited to meet everyone!

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Lifeinstyle
Lifeinstyle
06 ago 2023

Let us know if you have ever dealt with issues like this in the comments

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