The swinger lifestyle has gained so much popularity in the recent years as more people embrace non monogamous lifestyles. Along with the increase in the numbers for open minded couples, are the number of single women joining the movement.
WHAT IN THE F’ IS A UNICORN?
In the swinger lifestyle single women are often referred to as ‘unicorns’. I must admit, I don't have a definite answer on the reason of the name. However, based on what I've seen and heard, my theory is because single women are "less common in the lifestyle compared to single men". But, I also think that it has to do with the fact that unicorns are this magical and elusive creature that many swinger couples are searching for to fulfill their fantasies.
WHERE CAN I FIND A SINGLE FEMALE?
Let me tell you, being around like-minded people is always such a liberating experience, especially when it comes to single females. It's a common misconception that women don't have as many sexual fantasies as men, but trust me, they do, and sometimes even more! These ladies are here to explore their desires, with or without a monogamous partner, and I give them all the kudos in the world for that.
If you're on the lookout for a single female to spice up your own experiences, let me assure you that there are plenty of single ladies out there who are also searching for their own play partners. We've noticed an increase in the number of single women attending Lifeinstyle events lately, which is great news for everyone. You can also find a lot of new single female accounts created at LiberatedKind, check it out!
But, and this is important, please always approach these women with respect. We spoke to one of our single female guest, "Sapio," and she shared her perspective and tips with us. Here's what she had to say:
“It's often remarked by couples in the swinger lifestyle that finding a unicorn is a rare occurrence. Ironically, unicorns themselves also struggle with navigating the lifestyle. Regardless of which side you fall on, it's safe to say that finding a unicorn-couple match is no easy task. Every unicorn is unique, with their own sexual and relational preferences, desires, boundaries, and ways of being. It can be intimidating and overwhelming attending parties and events as a solo-female, but it doesn't have to be. Let’s explore navigating the lifestyle with thoughts from a unicorn: " - Sapio says
TIPS BY A LIFESTYLE SINGLE FEMALE ON HOW TO APPROACH UNICORNS
WE WANT TO FEEL LIKE THERE IS INTEREST FROM BOTH, NOT JUST ONE OF YOU
Unicorns want to ensure that both parties are genuinely interested in the exchange. We don't want to be used as a way to save someone's marriage or relationship. The more connected a couple is, the more in love they are, the more likely they are to attract a unicorn. A rocky relationship doesn't feel like a safe space for a unicorn. Jealousy or disconnection in the energy can make things awkward.
BE TRANSPARENT AMONGST EACH OTHER
Communication is key when chatting with single females. Both partners in the couple need to engage in conversation with the unicorn to make it clear that they are on the same page. Creating a group chat is a common practice. When using an anonymous lifestyle couples account to engage with a unicorn, it can be helpful to sign the message with your name so that the unicorn knows who they are interacting with. It's hard to discern who is saying what when communication is done with a couple account with a generic name. Even better, create real connections by using real accounts once comfortable. This feels safer and more welcoming for the unicorn and avoids confusion about who the unicorn is chatting and connecting with. If you want it to be real, then be real.
COMMUNICATE WELL WITH US
Be clear and open about what you're looking for and your sexual and relational boundaries. Know what you're open to and what you're closed off to. Be prepared for clear and confident communication by making a list prior to seeking and talking with a unicorn. The same goes for the unicorn, of course: be prepared to speak to what you do and don't want. Nothing kills sexual negotiations more than not knowing how to communicate your desires and boundaries. We all appreciate confidence and clarity, don't we? Some things to consider: what are you seeking? What do you desire, envision, and fantasize about? Do you want to travel together? Do you want to meet at public places or in a private home? Do you wish to keep it private or introduce your unicorn to friends, family, and children? Do you want something ongoing, random, or just a one-time thing? What are your hard stops or boundaries? Is the couple looking to only hook up together, or can they play separately with the unicorn? Be prepared to speak about your prior experiences as well: have you done this before, what did/didn't work, etc.?
MAKE YOUR UNICORN FEEL SPECIAL
Unicorns want to feel special too. Last but not least, shower the unicorn with desire, attention, experiences, and even gifts - especially if you want an ongoing relationship with them. No one wants to feel used. Making a unicorn feel special can be extremely rewarding, as they will make your fantasies come true! It must be said, unfortunately: don't treat unicorns like they're out to "steal your partner". They're humans too and deserve to be treated with respect and care.
The swinger lifestyle scene is full of possibilities, and it can all happen, you just need be clear and straight forward. Asking a woman if she is single along with what she’s looking for, is not only polite, it can get the juices flowing and might take you where you want to be.
Do you have anything that you would like to add as a unicorn or as a couple with unicorn experience? We want to hear from you. Please write about it in the comments!
