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Curious About BDSM? A beginners guide

Updated: Mar 10, 2023

If you're curious about BDSM, you're not alone

BDSM has been portrayed in popular culture in shows like Bonding and Euphoria, but what is the true meaning behind it all? Before you dive into BDSM dating apps or start experimenting with bondage sex, it's important to understand the basics and ground rules of BDSM. We have got our toes wet on the fetish. It is a lot of fun! - Em

bonding the netflix series
The Netflix series Bonding

First, let's define what is BDSM

BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, domination and submission, and sadism and masochism. BDSM is a spectrum of sexual behaviors and preferences, and it's important to note that it doesn't always have to involve sex. Many specific practices are performed in neutral, mutually consenting relationships of course!!!


However, informed consent is of big importance when carrying out because this practice often involves varying degrees of pain, physical restraint, and servitude. Safety and consent should ALWAYS be your top priorities when exploring it. Informed consent between individuals is known as SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual) or RACK (Risk-aware Consensual Kink).


Talk to your partner

Before getting started, it's essential to discuss your desires and boundaries with your partner(s) and agree on a safe word that signifies that all activity has to stop until the situation has been resolved. Be willing to speak honestly about your expectations, limits, and experience, especially if you're exploring BDSM with someone new. Wink wink… Lifeinstlye events….


If you're in the dominant role, you'll be the one in control of your shared sexual destiny. The dominant role will demonstrate skill and power and will control the submissive role. However, it's important for both partners to interchange and play both roles to experience being in control and relinquishing control.

image of a scene of the movie Secretary
A scene of the famous movie Secretary which spiked our interest on BDSM back in the day 😈

On the other hand, being a submissive involves giving away the reins to your mind and body and allowing your partner to take them fully. It's a position of trust and learning, but it's important to note that being a submissive does not mean you cease to have a voice. Consent and communication always. It is the Lifeinstyle cardinal way!


It's crucial to remember that BDSM encompasses a whole range of fetishes and kinks beyond these dynamics, including preferences for particular smells or fabrics and forms of play that don't revolve around exchanges of power. It's important to explore what you're comfortable with and what turns you on.


BDSM is a spectrum of sexual likes and preferences that require informed consent, safety, and communication

It's important to discuss your desires and boundaries with your partner or partners and agree on a safe word if ever needed. Remember, you should always be practiced with mutual respect and trust between you all.


For those who are new to the BDSM lifestyle, Liberatedkind can be an excellent network in the Midwest. The platform offers a wealth of users and networking for users who are just starting to explore their desires. It can be a valuable tool for learning more about BDSM and connecting with others who share similar interests, and finding events and activities in your area.

Lifeinstyle members also have the added value of joining the BDSM groups in the Lifeinstyle app and connecting with other members. Join now!



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2 Comments


Nathan Kim
Nathan Kim
Feb 26, 2023

Banana is the safe word!!!

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Lifeinstyle
Lifeinstyle
Apr 04, 2023
Replying to

bananas! 🍌


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