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We have found that lifestyle couples are positively different when it comes to open conversation and talking about all things sex. This might happen on the first step or it can develop over time and with experience. The lifestyle is full of open-minded people that have found the freedom that comes with being able to talk about taboo topics. The positive side effects can be great vibes, lack of judgement and the thrill of sex.

We asked four couples for some personal insight found similarities among the viewpoints. Whether you are in the lifestyle or thinking about joining, we hope that this may shed some light on your curiosities as these couples are all from different walks of life.

Have you and your partner talked about this? The lifestyle will affect your relationship—it is up to you and your decisions to make it positive.

Do you understand consent? This is very important as it goes for both parties.

Have you considered boundaries? What are you able to deal with? What are your rules? Do you have an open mind for new concepts?

Are you ready to be in an environment with some nudity and possibly sex?


Are your communication lines solid? Most LS couples have outstanding communication relationships.

Couple #1

  • In the beginning we had no idea of what we wanted or what was available, we loved to party with one another and every time out was an adventure.

  • 2. We have had hard conversations and easy talks, none are taken lightly—this is an important part of our lives, we have to try our hardest to understand one another and where life is taking us.

  • Consent worried me in the beginning as I was not an assertive person, and did not know how I would handle any unwanted advances--- which led me to avoid people… I've learned a lot about myself over the years and what I am looking for and most importantly that majority of lifestyle couples are very sweet and kind and understanding. this from the female)

  • These are not set in stone as they change constantly and according to growth and your place emotionally on that particular day

  • I think learning and evolving drives me to continue to explore--- it isn’t easy but the hard things are building blocks for me

  • I was modest in the beginning, and it took a long time for me to break that barrier and feel confident and love my body. I love seeing couples free and having a great time.

  • I have always been discreet; I don’t care to get caught up in the chats and drama

  • We have had ups and downs, but have always made the decision to come back together and work through it,,,,, we all change and morph and need to bend for one another,,,,,We only get once chance at life.

Couple #2:

  • Our communication has improved throughout. At first it was all new and fun and we just sort of let it take us wherever. Now, we have a better idea of the scene and have better established expectations.

  • We waded in slowly at first. We were completely naive up until 5 years ago. A trip to a topless pool in Vegas opened our eyes. We followed that with a vacation to Temptation where we met the most amazing couples. We swam a little deeper for a while but are finding that the thing we enjoy most is just the open-minded sexy people. Finding the exact right couples for sex is difficult if not impossible and the constant search takes away from the fun of just meeting genuine people. Our approach now is to just be open to whatever happens naturally.

Couple #3

Other things we like to tell newbies. We may have missed the point of your statement, and we obviously don’t expect them to be included. Just ideas. (We are not wordsmiths, but I think you will get the general idea.)

  • The lifestyle is like Baskin and Robbins, everyone gets their own flavor. Just because someone doesn’t swing the way you enjoy; doesn’t mean you can’t be friends.

  • You don’t have to Fuck everyone you meet.

  • Is Sex a Positive in your relationship?

Couple #4 Our first LS party was a LifeinStyle, interestingly enough. We had been listing to podcasts and reigniting that fire of intimacy. We decided we would have no expectations. At the end of the night, we always would have each other. We had many ironclad rules back then. The top rule being no one catch feelings. We discussed rules and how we would que each other if we felt we had to leave. We were open to adjustments to some rules if we discussed it first.

  • Consent to us is a clear yes. If we don’t receive the go ahead, nothing is going to happen. I ask before I touch, or kiss. Hell, a lot of couples don’t kiss, so never assume.

  • As mentioned, we had lots of boundaries in the beginning. It went from, full swap same room, to same house, to same state. It’s really expanded and now we are at a point where our trust allows us to have even broken our no feelings rule. Now having become poly. Now we don’t have rules. We have agreements. We agree to allow each other to experience sexuality in any form we feel, even if we aren’t there to be a part of it. So long as it is consensual and everyone is enjoying themselves, it’s no longer a hang up to control each other’s interactions. Continuing to nourish our marriage must always be the primary focus.

  • My mind is open and has become far more open because of the LS. When you surround yourself with people who love their freedom as much as we do, it becomes easier to feel safe enough to explore all kinds of amazing sexual experiences.

  • We have always been extremely sexual people. We enjoy being watched almost as much as we enjoy watching others. We always knew we were ready for this environment. Although we both struggle with body image issues and insecurities, over the years we have come to realize we aren’t the only ones, and nobody cares anyways. It’s so liberating to be sexually open and not feel ridiculed for enjoying these pleasures in life.

  • Discretion is extremely important. There are so many different people in the LS. From high powered business executives and Doctor’s to mechanics, yard workers, even college students. Many can’t allow their secret to be out, because it may damage their reputation and they could stand to lose their positions. Some couples are very open about it, but those who are should never compromise the privacy of those who aren’t.

  • I feel our communication is better than most couples. We don’t lie and hide nothing. Our trust in that regard is strong. We are not perfect but continue to work on being clear and open with each other. We found a therapist who specializes in alternative relationships, is LGBTQ friendly, and is well versed in all types of Kinks and taboos. She has helped us tremendously. We’ve had some difficult conversations, but also have learned ways to communicate our feelings in more constructive ways. It’s not perfect and we are still working at but that’s what you do in a marriage. You must put work into it. *By swingopen*

By no means should this be a quick decision, and there are avenues for adventure to help you learn and to have a good time. Best advice being take your time, learn about yourself and what you want from your journey.

Apply for a membership here and see what the lifestyle has to offer.

By Sabine the party 👑

Questions? Concerns? email me

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